short thoughts: on beginnings and endings

“Crucial to finding the way is this: there is no beginning or end.” I consider these words as I try to trace our journey, from the first awkward introduction to now. I’m trying to figure out how we got here, how every soul baring conversation, every round of banter, every unexpected adventure, every conflict ofContinue reading “short thoughts: on beginnings and endings”

short thoughts: the upcoming death of a diary

Hello, friend. Hi, dear diary I’ve downloaded all my excess and overwhelming thoughts and feelings into for the past few years. I wonder who I’ll be when you are all filled up? Why does it feel so literal, the very real possibility of a closing chapter in life, nay, the ending of a saga, coincidingContinue reading “short thoughts: the upcoming death of a diary”

Letters to my younger selves

Dear 18 year old Mubash, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I remember you as so eager. Eager to please, eager to fit in, eager to succeed – whatever that meant. You travelled halfway across the world to start a new phase of life, the college years, the America years, the first timeContinue reading “Letters to my younger selves”

Anti-blackness & your brown family, A conundrum

How many of you have had a conversation with your brown families on racism and anti-blackness, in light of everything that’s happened in the past week? If you’re not in the US currently, and you happen to be in Bangladesh or any other place where the coronavirus pandemic is actually peaking right now and yourContinue reading “Anti-blackness & your brown family, A conundrum”

London, my love

My first visit to London was nine years ago. It was the summer after eleventh grade, and I was going to the UK for a family trip. I was sixteen, and mostly disgruntled about missing prom (I was having a particularly ungrateful privileged teenager moment). Part of my mom’s mission for taking me on thisContinue reading “London, my love”

In search of home

A few days ago I got a phone call from the Bangladesh High Commission here in London, asking for my passport information. A flight is being arranged, they said, and you’re on the list. We’ll get you home. Home. I’ve long come to believe home is a feeling, not a place. To me, it’s whereContinue reading “In search of home”

Food for the soul, literally

There’s a viral meme going around depicting a massive queue of people waiting to audition for Masterchef once this pandemic is over. Given the sudden rise in cooking endeavors I’ve noticed just in my immediate circle in the past month, I’m beginning to feel this might not be too far-fetched of a joke. Food isContinue reading “Food for the soul, literally”

A pandemic Pohela Boishakh

In an alternate universe somewhere, it’s the day before Pohela Boishakh (Bengali New Year, for those unfortunate ones not in the know) and I’m in my bedroom in Dhaka, picking earrings to wear with the saree I’m going to wear tomorrow. My mom is in the kitchen, making sure the bhortas are all prepped forContinue reading “A pandemic Pohela Boishakh”

What even is a musing

My thoughts are so jumbled up right now it’s almost impossible to unravel them, put them in coherent order and call them “musings”. It’s been like that most of this week. I’ve been writing but I don’t think I’ve written anything that I thought would be suitable for a blog post. And then I’ve beenContinue reading “What even is a musing”

A little good in all the bad

Today marks my 17th day of quarantine and amid all the gloom and doom surrounding us, I am straining to find the little things that still bring me joy. But I’ve made myself look harder every day, because I am convinced this is what the world needs from me right now. It might seem narcissisticContinue reading “A little good in all the bad”