short thoughts: on beginnings and endings

“Crucial to finding the way is this: there is no beginning or end.” I consider these words as I try to trace our journey, from the first awkward introduction to now. I’m trying to figure out how we got here, how every soul baring conversation, every round of banter, every unexpected adventure, every conflict ofContinue reading “short thoughts: on beginnings and endings”

Letters to my younger selves

Dear 18 year old Mubash, I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I remember you as so eager. Eager to please, eager to fit in, eager to succeed – whatever that meant. You travelled halfway across the world to start a new phase of life, the college years, the America years, the first timeContinue reading “Letters to my younger selves”

Saving myself….#dVerse

This is a poem about struggling with depression and anxiety, and writing it has helped me with both today. I don’t know whether reading it will help the reader or make them feel as terrible as me so fair warning. It’s unedited and raw, and no doubt will read as somewhat angsty and maybe immatureContinue reading “Saving myself….#dVerse”

Of love and laundry….#dVerse

It’s 2.12 am here and I can’t sleep so have written my first verses for Poetics hosted by dVerse. The theme is laundry. It’s my first time participating in anything like this and I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that it’s a poem about laundry, written on the notes of my phone.Continue reading “Of love and laundry….#dVerse”

I don’t do poetry but…

Untitled I don’t do poetry but sometimes, a picture, a moment, a fleeting feeling – makes prose seem inadequate. Like when I saw that one little flower so delicate and fragile but still alive peeking out amongst its long dead companions. Or maybe it’s just me, always looking for signs in a world of coincidences.Continue reading “I don’t do poetry but…”

London, my love

My first visit to London was nine years ago. It was the summer after eleventh grade, and I was going to the UK for a family trip. I was sixteen, and mostly disgruntled about missing prom (I was having a particularly ungrateful privileged teenager moment). Part of my mom’s mission for taking me on thisContinue reading “London, my love”

In search of home

A few days ago I got a phone call from the Bangladesh High Commission here in London, asking for my passport information. A flight is being arranged, they said, and you’re on the list. We’ll get you home. Home. I’ve long come to believe home is a feeling, not a place. To me, it’s whereContinue reading “In search of home”

What even is a musing

My thoughts are so jumbled up right now it’s almost impossible to unravel them, put them in coherent order and call them “musings”. It’s been like that most of this week. I’ve been writing but I don’t think I’ve written anything that I thought would be suitable for a blog post. And then I’ve beenContinue reading “What even is a musing”

A little good in all the bad

Today marks my 17th day of quarantine and amid all the gloom and doom surrounding us, I am straining to find the little things that still bring me joy. But I’ve made myself look harder every day, because I am convinced this is what the world needs from me right now. It might seem narcissisticContinue reading “A little good in all the bad”

No time like now

Being cooped up in a little flat for days on end can be stifling and depressing – but it can also give you something most of us complain about never having enough of – time. Now that we have all this time, we complain about what to do with it. It got me thinking aboutContinue reading “No time like now”